


the village

by Schriftstellerexcerpts



Series: words are all i have (to take your heart away) [5]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 16:46:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16223210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Schriftstellerexcerpts/pseuds/Schriftstellerexcerpts
Summary: “There’s nothing wrong with me!” Nicole yells, and she doesn’t care if anyone hears. She does’t care if their neighbors are on the outside looking in. “I’m still Nicole Rayleigh Haught daughter of William and Cindy Haught! I still love basketball and watching The Golden Girls! I’m still me!”“You’re not still you,” her mother tells her. “You’re not our innocent, little girl anymore. You’re a stranger.”“Mommy, I’m me!” Nicole tries again, her voice wavering and tears spilling so rapidly from her eyes that everything’s blurry. “You can still kiss my forehead and sing me a song! You can still cheer me on at my basketball games and take pictures of me!”“No,” her mother shakes her head. “I can’t do those things anymore. They won’t be the same now that I know what you are.”





	the village

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, all! This one was requested by @That'sthewaythecookiecrumbles13v2! I hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think!

**“The Village” Wrabel (2017)**

 

_No, you’re mom don’t get it_

_and your dad don’t get it_

_uncle John don’t get it_

_and you can’t tell grandma_

_‘cause her heart can’t take it_

_and she might not make it_

 

Nicole savors the way the hot shower water feels against her face. It’s so hot that it feels as if it could burn her face, but she doesn’t care; not right now; not in this moment. It’s the middle of the night, but she couldn’t stay in bed. The nightmares are too much; too real. She can’t stand to stay in bed and lie there in the cold sweats and the _tears_. Gosh, the tears—they _burn_.

 

She closes her eyes for a moment, but, in that moment, she can see her mom looking back at her with a look of disgust on her face. Her arms are crossed at her chest and her eyebrows are furrowed. She even looks like she could puke at any given moment. All of a sudden, Nicole hears the words her mom said. Gosh, they’re _echoing_.

 

“Who even are you?”

 

Nicole keeps her eyes closed and leans her head against the wall of the shower. She feels like she’s suffocating. _Deep breathes_ , she silently tells herself. She sees herself looking back at her mom, tears in her eyes. Her fists are clenched and she’s _shaking_.

 

“I’m me, mom,” she tries to assure her mother. “I’m still me.”

 

She feels her eyes start to burn so she quickly opens them. She lifts her head off of the wall and instead leans her back against it. Suddenly she’s cold and her chin in quivering.

 

_they say, “don’t dare, don’t you even go there_

_cutting off your long hair_

_you do as you’re told”_

 

She stares off into the cloudiness of the bathroom and thinks she sees her dad standing there. He’s got a stern look on his face and his hands are hanging loosely at his sides. Suddenly, she’s in the living room of her old home and he’s looking at her just the same.

 

“Why would you do this to us, Nicole?” He asks. “Why would you _choose_ to live your life like this?”

 

Nicole sees herself freeze. She’s got tears streaming down her face and her eyes are red. “It’s not a…” She trails off, sniffling. “I didn’t…” She tries again, but fails. She takes in a deep breath and lets it out. “It’s not a choice.”

 

She sees her dad stare at her even harder. “You’re ruining our family.”

 

Nicole watches herself try and walk closer to her dad to assure him that she’s still _her_ ; that this doesn’t change anything. As she reaches for him, he flinches away. She stops and holds back a sob. “ _Daddy_ ,” she whispers. “It’s me, your little girl.”

 

She sees her dad shake his head. “No,” he denies. “When I look at you, I don’t see my little girl. All I see is a _mistake_.”

 

_tell you, “wake up, go put on your makeup_

_this is just a phase you’re gonna outgrow_

 

Fifteen-year-old Nicole blinks at more tears fall from her eyes. “You don’t mean that.”

 

The look of betrayal on her father’s face was almost too much to bare. “I do mean that,” he replies. “This is just a phase, Nicole. This isn’t who you are. You like boys and you dress like a girl, remember?”

 

Nicole shakes her head, clenching her jaw. “This _is_ who I am!” She shouts. “I like girls and I can dress however I want to!”

 

“Lower your voice, Nicole Haught,” her mother tells her, pointing an accusing finger at her. “What if someone hears you? No one wants to be friends with a…with a _lesbian_.”

 

Nicole looks away from the cloudiness of the bathroom and puts her face back into the hot water. She allows herself to let out a few sobs before she sobers up. She leans her head back and looks up at the ceiling. That’s when she sees her mom start to cry.

 

“Look what you did, Nicole,” her dad says as he goes over to hold her mother. “You made your mother cry. Is this what you wanted? To break our hearts and betray us?”

 

Nicole shakes her head. “I just wanted you to love me,” she admits. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

 

“You really thought that after all of this,” her mother starts through her tears, “that we’d still love you?”

 

“You _do_ love me,” Nicole tries. “You’re my parents. You’re supposed to love me unconditionally.”

 

Her father laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “You ruined that when you told us you’re a lesbian.”

 

_there’s something wrong in the village_

_in the village, oh_

_they stare in the village_

_in the village, oh_

 

“There’s nothing wrong with me!” Nicole yells, and she doesn’t care if anyone hears. She does’t care if their neighbors are on the outside looking in. “I’m still Nicole Rayleigh Haught daughter of William and Cindy Haught! I still love basketball and watching _The Golden Girls_! I’m still _me_!”

 

“You’re not still you,” her mother tells her. “You’re not our innocent, little girl anymore. You’re a _stranger_.”

 

“Mommy, I’m me!” Nicole tries again, her voice wavering and tears spilling so rapidly from her eyes that everything’s blurry. “You can still kiss my forehead and sing me a song! You can still cheer me on at my basketball games and take pictures of me!”

 

“No,” her mother shakes her head. “I can’t do those things anymore. They won’t be the same now that I know _what_ you are.”

 

“What am I?” Nicole challenges.

 

“A disgrace to this family,” she replies.

 

“No, I’m not!” Nicole shouts.

 

“Yes, you are,” her father argues. “And no one had better find out about this or you’re going to have to leave. We can’t have our daughter going around and telling everyone that she likes girls. Our friends will never talk to us again.”

 

_there’s nothing wrong with you_

_it’s true, it’s true_

_there’s something wrong with the village_

_with the village_

_there’s something wrong with the village_

 

“You’re a sinner, Nicole Haught,” her mother says. “And you know what? You’re not welcome in this house anymore.”

 

“But, mom-“

 

“No!” Her mother yells, cutting her off. “You listen to me and you listen good: after we have our Friday dinner at nana’s, you’re to be gone by Sunday morning. Understood?”

 

“No!” Nicole yells back. “This is my home!”

 

“Not anymore,” her father informs her. “You can either go and talk to a priest to _fix_ yourself or you can go and find somewhere else to stay.”

 

“There’s nothing to fix!” Nicole screams, her fists clenched as anger takes over her whole body. “There’s nothing wrong with me!”

 

“There’s a lot of things wrong with you if you think that liking girls is okay,” her father says. “And if you think that cutting your hair short and wearing boy clothes is okay.”

 

“It _is_ okay!” Nicole shouts.

 

“That’s exactly why you need to leave,” her mother speaks. “We can’t have the whole town knowing about this or we’ll be booted out.”

 

“No, we won’t,” Nicole tries to assure her parents. “Shae is a lesbian and her parents still love her. Our whole school knows and they’re fine with it. She’s the most popular girl in school.”

 

“We’re not going to risk it, Nicole,” her father tells her. “You’ve got go.”

 

Nicole looks away from the ceiling and punches the tile of the shower wall. Her knuckles start to bleed, but she doesn’t have it in her to care. She just needs to _feel_ something; needs to know that she’s not disposable like her parents made her believe all those years ago.

 

_feel the rumors follow you from monday all the way to_

_friday dinner_

_you got one day of shelter, then it’s sunday hell to pay,_

_you young lost sinner_

 

Nicole looks at her bleeding knuckles and sees herself packing all of her belongings. She figures she can’t take much because she doesn’t even know where she’s supposed to go. She doesn’t have any money to get a bus ticket to take her somewhere, anywhere that’s not here. She has no clue where to go.

 

She remembers looking at her phone, trying to think of someone to call. She finally thinks of someone—her aunt. How could she forget her Aunt Mel? She feels herself smile, knowing that her aunt will still love her; knowing that her aunt was once in the same boat she is now. That’s why she never comes to family events; that’s why her mother pretends that she doesn’t have a sister; that’s why Nicole’s only ever met her a couple times.

 

She remembers hearing the ringing of the phone as she waits for an answer. When the answer does come, she feels like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders.

 

“Nicole?” Her aunt speaks into the phone. “What’s up, kiddo?”

 

Nicole feels her eyes start to water. “Hi, Aunt Mel,” she says softly.

 

“What’s wrong, Nicole?” She asks, concern laced in her voice.

 

“Can I tell you something?” Nicole asks, her chin quivering. “And you have to promise that you’ll still love me.”

 

“I’ll love you no matter what, Nicky,” her aunt assures her. “What’s going on?”

 

Nicole takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I like girls.”

 

There’s a moment of silence before her aunt replies. “You wanna know something?” She asks. “So do I.”

 

Nicole smiles through her tears. “I know,” she responds. “That’s why mama doesn’t talk to you, right?”

 

“Sadly, yes,” her aunt says.

 

“They’re kicking me out, Aunt Mel,” Nicole informs her aunt. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”

 

“They’re kicking you out?”

 

“Yeah,” Nicole nods her head even though she knows her aunt can’t see her. “They said that they can’t have their friends finding out that I like girls so I need to leave.”

 

She thinks she hears her aunt curse under her breath; thinks she hears her say something about how her parents are no good, selfish people. “Tell you what, kiddo, you can come and live with me. There’s some real nice people here and they’ll accept you for who you are.”

 

“You mean it, Aunt Mel?”

 

“I sure do, Nicky,” Mel assures her. “I’m only a couple hours away from Toronto. Can you have your bags packed by the time I get there?”

 

“Yeah,” Nicole says. “I’ll be waiting for you, Aunty Mel.”

 

“I’m on my way, girl.”

 

_well I’ve been there, sitting in that same chair_

_whispering the same prayer half a million times_

_it’s a lie though buried in disciples_

_one page of the Bible isn’t worth a life_

 

“Nicole?”

 

Nicole looks away from her bloody knuckles and turns to where her name is being called. Her eyes meet tired, hazel ones. “Waves.”

 

“What’re you doing?” Waverly asks, her voice drowning in sleep. “It’s the middle of the night.”

 

“I couldn’t sleep,” Nicole tells her girlfriend.

 

“Another nightmare?”

 

Nicole nods her head. “Did I wake you?”

 

“No,” Waverly assures her. “I was cold without you.”

 

“I’ll come back to bed in a few minutes.”

 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Waverly asks softly. She looks through the blurriness of the glass shower door and sees red. “Are you bleeding?”

 

Nicole glances at her knuckles, then looks back at her girlfriend. “Yeah,” she admits. “I punched the wall.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

Nicole shrugs. “I just wanted to feel something.”

 

“You’re scaring me, Nicole. What’s going on?”

 

“The nightmares are too much, Waves,” Nicole says softly. “It’s been ten years since my parents kicked me out and I still feel so angry at them.”

 

“You have a right to feel angry, Nicole,” Waverly replies. “What they did to you; what they said to you was nasty and uncalled for.”

 

“So you don’t think there’s anything wrong with me?”

 

“No,” Waverly says without missing a beat. “Nicole, you are amazing. You’re caring, beautiful, loyal, and athletic. Not to mention that you’re an incredible cop. Your parents are missing out on a wonderful girl.”

 

Nicole lets herself smile. “I love you, you know that? You mean everything to me, Waverly Earp.”

 

“I love you, too,” Waverly replies. “You mean everything to me, too, Nicole Haught. Now hurry up and get out of the shower so you can hold me.”

 

Nicole laughs softly. “You’re my girl, Waves.”

 

“I’m your girl, Nicky,” Waverly confirms.

 

_there’s something wrong in the village_

_in the village, oh_

_they stare in the village_

_in the village, oh_

_there’s nothing wrong with you_

_it’s true, it’s true_

 

Nicole finishes her shower and puts her sweatpants and sports bra back on. She dries her short, red hair before crawling back into bed and reaching for her girlfriend. Waverly immediately snuggles up to her and Nicole lets out a content sigh.

 

_There’s nothing wrong with you_ , she tells herself. _This is who you are; this is where you belong._

 

_there’s something wrong with the village_

_with the village_

_there’s something wrong with the village._

 


End file.
